Why Boston Sucks

Boston:

City of the paranoid, and the drunk white Irish-Catholic can't stand the sight of someone else's tea party anymore. Apparently, they own the copyright on self-indulgent, self-aggrandizing, free for all revolutions and certainly don't approve of marketization without representation.

Ah, ugh, sigh, whimper. Alas, free speech in all its glory has no place in the northern hearth of revolutionary America. Yes, please come see our fleet of weather worn, historical hobby horses and eat the cheese, but pay respect to our Puritan Heritage FIRST. And hurry up and leave...(it is cold here on purpose. We don't like you, after all).

In an era where funding for SWAT teams, urban assault vehicles, terrorist screening, and police helicopters has run the budget dry for less important levee repairs or even intra-coastal humanitarian aid for mere citizens, it's interesting to note that the ones calling the cops...ARE the cops. And the ones escalating the threat are not the ones supposed to feel threatened. But the ones supposed to calm us.

Boston's reaction to Aqua Teen Marketing, is the result of the Firemen...crying fire in a crowded theater. Or police or whatever hungover reactionary Irish faction you wish to identify in this case. (And their relatives)

So lets thank them for making sure that these little light brite signs were referred to in the national media as "devices", "bombs", "packages" and whatever else scary!

A cop blew up a backpack in my neighborhood with an IPod in it today. It hardly matters what the reality is. The police and the authorities are the problem and they are more fearful than grandma that the cat is in the tree.

So I guess we are supposed to feel safe because we are protected by a bunch of PUSSIES with a bomb squad budget who trot out every last toy they have screwed the taxpayers for over the last 5 years, to impress their wives on the nightly news and then go get real good and drunk so they cant think straight tomorrow either.

Lets have a ticker tape parade for these guys! More drinking! OK enough bashing of the Boston Irish Catholic drunks. But even bloggers, pussies that they are, are saying "well, it didn't hurt anybody but the marketing wasn't done the right way".

HUH? Since when is a lite brite (TM hasbro) any more of a device than any other billboard poster, sign that a cigarette company puts up WITHOUT community approval?

And since when it a lighted sign a bomb? A menace? A disturbance? Did it say BOMB HERE? Any blogger that even sympathizes with these puritans is a shameful miscreant of an individual who's blog should be shut down and replaced with an Aqua Teen sign.

Not only was no harm done, those little lite brites ARE protected and so is hanging signs that don't say anything more offensive than my 11 year old kid sees on the school yard every day.

And WIRES aren't illegal either. Neither are Batteries. So this must be why Bostonians love to visit the west coast so much. Because it sucks to be them. And it sucks to be there because of themselves. When you come out here we will be nice to you. But you wont like it and go home. Just the way we like it.